The first steps...

Social Services responded fairly quickly (I discovered later that that was pretty miraculous!)

We had an initial visit from a social worker who asked us lots of questions about us, our son and our house.

She was pleased we had smoke detectors (phew! just got them fitted in time!) and a bit worried about the water feature in the garden. We assured her we could easily get rid of it if necessary!

Anyway, we passed this first inspection - she didn't even go to the toilet to see how clean we were!

The next step was to organize a series of interviews with our own social worker. This took a lot more time. We were to see him about once a month, sometimes together, sometimes on our own. I think we had around 6 meetings with him altogether, over about 6 or 7 months.

I was very nervous, especially the first time he came. He was an extremely large man who walked with a walking stick. We sat in the dining room because he wasn't comfortable on a sofa.

I kept feeling he was going to 'find us out'. Find what out? I have no idea! Somehow I just had this feeling that I was a phoney, not really able to parent an adopted child.

I felt that we had to be squeaky clean, the perfect couple, the perfect family. What I didn't realize is that no-one is, so they are just looking for real problems which could get in the way.

I didn't relax with him until towards the end of our assessment, when he saw me on my own. He asked me if there was anything I thought might get in the way of our being allowed to adopt.

I told him about my worries about age and weight. He was very reassuring and told me lots of people much fatter than me, and much older than my husband had successfully been approved for adoption.

What a relief! And I think he was relieved too - I think he must have realized I was worried about something so was pleased it wasn't that I was an ax murderer in my spare time...