Waiting...

Our assessment didn't take as long as it can do. Later we realized that our social worker hadn't done a very detailed job and another one (the boss!) had to come and fill in some details.

She was friendly, but not always reassuring. I still couldn't really believe that it was going to work, and that one day we would be adopting a child, so any comments she made to us which were remotely cautionary or negative sent me into a panic.

I remember that she came to see us one day after having checked through our medical forms. She told me I would have to 'watch the weight'. I asked her what she meant. She said that I was quite overweight. Heart pounding, thinking that this was the 'no' speech, I asked if that was going to go against us. She replied that it wouldn't, just that I should watch it!

Well, although I said nothing to her, I was quite furious! Did she think I didn't know I was overweight? Was she trying to give me some advice? She obviously didn't realize what effect she had on people.

Another problem she brought up was the doctor's comments about my husband. He can be quite a worrier and a hypochondriac to boot - the doctor had said that he suffered from chronic anxiety.

Again, she picked up on this, worried us sick about it, but in the end it was not a cause for concern.

Apart from these moments of terror, the thing I remember the most was waiting, waiting, waiting.

Social services never do anything quickly. The shortest wait will be two weeks, but usually it is six or more, for anything!

We were finally given a date for the panel to decide whether to approve us or not. I think it was in June. Needless to say, a few days before the date, it was postponed! We were given a new date - in August!

Meanwhile we were advised to prepare a special book about our family, a child-friendly book to introduce ourselves. This could be given to a child later, but most importantly at this stage, it was for the panel to see.

I went to town on this one! I poured every last inch of creativity into it. I had touchy feely bits (fur to stroke on the photos of our dogs), I had wheels you could turn (to see the different photos as it went round), I had a lift the flap game with a photo of each room in our house under each flap! I had feathers, googly eyes, glitter - you name it, I had stuck it in!

Finally, in August, we got the phone call. We were on a short break in Yorkshire at the time so we had given our mobile phone number. We knew roughly when we would get the call, so the three of us were sitting in our room in the B&B, nervously waiting for the news.

We weren't kept waiting very long (amazingly!) when the phone rang! Even then, our social worker showed a complete lack of awareness of how we must be feeling. She didn't come out with the news straight away - she talked about the panel, who was on it and other irrelevant details. In the end I had to ask her. "Have we been approved?"

I don't think she meant to be cruel, she just didn't have the imagination to realize that she should have told us straight away.

"Oh yes - of course!" was her reply.