The reason for adopting

After the birth of our first son, we naturally assumed that we would have more children. We had even planned to have 3! Another boy, then a girl.
When our first son was 2, I became pregnant. We were both thrilled, it had been relatively easy this time! (It took us a good 2 years to conceive Number 1!)
Sadly, at around 8 weeks, I started to bleed. I went for a scan, still hoping for the best, but it turned out the baby had died.
Many people who have not experience miscarriage think that it is no big deal, especially if it happens early on.
It was a big deal for me, I grieved for a long time. In fact I still do - although it is a dull ache now.
I became obsessed with getting pregnant again as soon as possible. I was sure that this would make the pain of our loss go away.
Sadly it was not to be. We went on trying for a long time, then in desperation, signed up for fertility treatment.
It turned out that there was nothing wrong with either of us, and we were told that eventually it would happen.
The trouble is that the stress of having to have sex whether we felt like it or not, followed by the hope that it had worked, then the desperation when my period appeared, played havoc with our relationship. We stuck at it for about 3 years, but in the end realized that we couldn't go on for ever, the stress and unhappiness it caused was getting too much for both of us.
We knew that the obsession of trying to get pregnant was taking away our enjoyment and pleasure of watching our son grow and develop.
Making the decision to stop trying was at the same time a great relief to both of us, but a new grief, almost as bad as how I felt after the miscarriage.